Reflections on Healing - 14 Days of Self Appreciation Challenge: Day 4

February 4^th.  

Today I proclaim that I reclaim my life.  

My gift of love on this 4^th day of self appreciation was to find a song that expressed this sentiment.   To say boldly; "I am who I am." 

The song that I selected is Barbra Streisand singing – Don't Rain On My Parade

Don't tell me not to live,

Just sit and putter,

Life's candy and the sun's

A ball of butter.

Don't bring around a cloud

To rain on my parade.

Don't tell me not to fly,

I've simply got to.

If someone takes a spill,

It's me and not you.

Who told you you're allowed

To rain on my parade!

I'll march my band out,

I'll beat my drum,

And if I'm fanned out,

Your turn at bat, sir.

At least I didn't fake it.

Hat, sir, I guess I didn't make it!

But whether I'm the rose

Of sheer perfection,

Or freckle on the nose

Of life's complexion,

The cinder or the shiny apple of its eye,

I gotta fly once,

I gotta try once,

Only can die once, right, sir?

Ooh, life is juicy,

Juicy, and you see

I gotta have my bite, sir!

Get ready for me, love,

Cause I'm a "comer,"

I simply gotta march,

My heart's a drummer.

Don't bring around a cloud

To rain on my parade!

I'm gonna live and live now,

Get what I want, I know how,

One roll for the whole shebang,

One throw, that bell will go clang,

Eye on the target, and wham,

One shot, one gun shot, and bam,

Hey, Mister Arnstein, here I am!

I'll march my band out,

I'm beating my drum,

And if I'm fanned out,

Your turn at bat, sir,

At least I didn't fake it.

Hat, sir, I guess I didn't make it.

Get ready for me, love,

Cause I'm a "comer,"

I simply gotta march,

My heart's a drummer.

Nobody, no, nobody

Is gonna rain on my parade!

Songwriters: MERRILL, BOB/STYNE, JULE

Don't Rain On My Parade lyrics © Warner/Chappell Music, Inc.

You tube link  to the song 

Today I remind myself:

Today of will do a ritual to affirm confidence:

• Take a brown candle  (represents earth magic, stability, protection,  grounding)
• Rub the candle with apple oil and sprinkle with cinnamon
• Light the candle and contemplate the flame visualize confidence growing in the light.
• Inhale the aroma of apple and cinnamon, earthy scents that ground me and connect me with "mother nature". Feel her nurturing love 
• Meditate upon these thoughts:

I summon courage from within.

I call upon my inner strength.

I face my fears courageously.

I am confident that I will succeed.

There is no one that can take from me

That which I summon from inside.

My strengths reside forever within.

My gift of love to me today is this,

I empower myself to appreciate me.

I give myself this gift of love and self-appreciation today.

Are you ready to embark on your own journey? 

Renate Dundys Marrello

2014 – 02 – 04 

my Reflections page on Facebook 

Reflections on Healing - 14 Days of Self Appreciation Challenge: Day 3

Full moon over lake Ontario
photographer Renate Dundys Marrello 

February 3^rd, and today is also a full moon.  

Some call it the Snow Moon, others the Cold Moon, and still others the Wolf Moon.  

Regardless of the name the brightness of a full moon on a cold, dark, is beautiful and inspires contemplation.



I have been studying the lunar cycle, to have something to do to focus on other than the circular thinking that inevitably happens around the topic of being estranged, where the mind plays tricks on you keeping you stuck in the past.

In the course of learning about the lunar cycle I also started learning about moon symbolism or what some call “moon magic”.   I think magic lies in the mind.  So if you believe something in your mind you can make it manifest in your life.

Moon magic says that the fool moon is a time to release. 

It is also said to be a time when prayers are especially powerful.  



So as my third day of self-appreciation, I honour the moon as part of the bountiful beauty of the universe that is available for me to enjoy.  I pray for the strength to release old thoughts and negative habits that no longer serve in my life.  

Today I will do a full moon ritual to connect with that place of respect and prayer.

• Prepare a ritual bath, scented with favorite herbs/oils or sea salt, as I cleanse my body I will also visualize cleansing my mind of negative thoughts.
• Meditate to clear my mind and heart of any thoughts, past ruminations or emotions that no longer serve me.
• I will visualize myself starting  down a new path toward harmony and contentment with what is given me to experience.
• I will anoint my chakra points and spend some time meditating on where my life is right now and which points need strengthening.
• I will focus inward on myself and remind myself that it is a good thing to learn to appreciate who I am and to celebrate my virtues rather than beating myself down for my failings. 
• I will let go of what is past and open myself up to new possibilities,
• I will let the negative go and allow the positive to take over.
• I will welcome joy and peace and love into my daily life. 
• I will allow myself to feel so good.  To feel good about myself and who I am.

This is my self-appreciation gift to myself today.

Will you join me?

Renate Dundys Marrello

2015 – 02 – 03 

My face book Reflections Page

photo credits  -  Blue moon Shamanic Reiki, unknown 

Reflections on Healing - 14 Days of Self Appreciation Challenge: Day 2

February 2^nd, is Imbolc, which is a celebration of the mid-point of winter.  It is looking forward toward the ending of of the cold season and the approaching spring. Symbolically this relates to giving up the old (winter) and looking forward to the birth of new (spring).  It is therefore an appropriate time to look at concepts of change and renewal. 

Celebrations during Imbolc, include honouring Brigid, a celtic Goddess is connected with poetry, healing and smithcraft (metalwork).   And because I see this challenge of self-appreciation as a healing rite it is apt to include thoughts of this celebration in my ritual.

Yesterday after doing my self-esteem reading I challenged myself to write a list of 100 things that I am good at or that I like about myself.  I started out slow and hesitant.  Gradually, the thoughts came more quickly to me and soon I have surpassed the goal and finished with 110 things I like about myself.  What an accomplishment!  

Today I will do "A Seven Candle Ritual" that I found that speaks to me of change and renewal:

Cleansing bath:

• I will soak in a luxurious scent filled tub surrounded by soft music and candle light
• I will meditate on the old negative thoughts I wish to wash away out of my life.  I will tell myself why these thoughts and messages no longer work for me and why I want them out of my life.
• As I drain the tub I will imagine all those negative thought flowing away to be gone.

Preparing for the new:

• I will dress in new clothing, to symbolize that I am building new habits.

"Seven Candle Ritual" inviting change and renewal:

Lighting the first candle I say:	Although it is now dark, I come seeking light. In the chill of winter, I come seeking life.
Lighting the second candle I say:	I call upon fire, that melts the snow and warms the hearth. I call upon fire, that brings the light and makes new life. I call upon fire to purify me with your flames.
Lighting the third candle I say:	This light is a boundary, between positive and negative. That which is outside, shall stay without. That which is inside, shall stay within.
Lighting the fourth candle I say:	I call upon fire, that melts the snow and warms the hearth. I call upon fire, that brings the light and makes new life. I call upon fire to purify me with your flames.
Lighting the fifth candle I say:	Like fire, light and love will always grow. Like fire, wisdom and inspiration will always grow.
Lighting the sixth candle I say:	I call upon fire, that melts the snow and warms the hearth. I call upon fire, that brings the light and makes new life. I call upon fire to purify me with your flames.
Lighting the seventh  candle I say:	Fire of the hearth, blaze of the sun, cover me in your shining light. I am awash in your glow, and tonight I am made pure.
Now I visualize	The seven flames coming together as one. As the light builds, see the energy growing in a purifying glow
Now I take some time to reflect and get into a meditative state	I meditate by candle light I breathe and feel the calm relaxation that brings. I visualize this as a time of healing and inspiration and purification.
I ask myself these question:	Do I have something damaged that needs to be healed? Am I feeling stagnant, for lack of inspiration? Is there some part of my life that feels toxic or tainted?
I visualize the changes I want to embrace	The light is a warm, enveloping energy that wraps itself around me The light is symbolic of the healing I am inviting into my life The light is a spark of creativity The light is purifies that which is damaged. I visualize myself a stronger more centered person

I found this web page today, which totally fits in with today's theme.  I plan to do this also this evening.  Brighid's Crossroads Divination. 

I look forward to this self-appreciation gift to myself.

I hope some of you will join me on this healing journey.

Renate Dundys Marrello

2015 – 02 – 02 

my reflections page on facebook 

photo credit:  unknown 

Reflections on Healing: 14 Days of Self Appreciation Challenge: Day 1

Here it is!  Feb 1^st. 

As Valentine’s Day approaches it is time to devote 14 days to doing good things for myself.  Last year I was unsuccessful in my plan.  I did not fully believe I was worthy of loving and appreciating myself.  

For me this is a second attempt.  I think this year I am better prepared.  I have done more research and more learning.  I am ready for this challenge.

I invite you to join me on this journey?

Start the day with reading: 

Why is self-esteem important?

Article #1 

Article #2 

Article #3 

Do some evaluation of my core beliefs and areas I want to change

Worksheet #1 core beliefs  

Worksheet #2 assessing negative self talk 

Worksheet #3 self esteem journal 

Worksheet #4 positive traits 

Worksheet #5 positive experiences 

Download a free book on Building Self Esteem  

My self-esteem ritual 

Anoint a pink candle with rose essential oil

• As I do this I will visualize all my self-esteem becoming stronger and more healthy.
• Inhale the scent and say “I am worthy of positive and loving self-thoughts”

Light the pink (symbolic of love and affection) candle

• As I light the candle repeat my intention:  “I am worthy of positive and loving self-thoughts”

Hold some rose quartz (also symbolic of love and affection)

• write out the negative thoughts that I cling to on one sheet of paper
• as I write out each negative thought say “I am worthy of positive and loving self-thoughts therefore I cast you out of my mind”
• on a second sheet of paper write out the new thoughts I want to embrace.
• As you right each of these new thoughts I repeat “I am worthy of positive and loving self-thoughts”
• When done with writing the positive list stroke the page with the rose quartz and repeat my intention:  “I am worthy of positive and loving self-thoughts”
• Now place the rose quart near the candle

Take the negative thoughts page and set it on fire 

• say "I am worthy of positive and loving self-thoughts therefore I burn and banish these old negative thoughts from my mind"

Take the page of good thoughts 

• say "I am worthy of loving self-thoughts and therefore I will cherish these positive thoughts"
• Place the sheet of paper in a frame or similar place of honour so that I can see it, read it, and embrace the positive thoughts easily and often.

Allow the candle to burn down.  

• Imagine the burning flame and the rose scent releasing positive and loving energy into my life.  
• Everytime I see the candle burning and / or smell the fragrance of roses I will be reminded of the new loving and positive thoughts I am welcoming into my life

I pamper myself with a spa like retreat, a rose scented, candle lit bubble bath.  Soft music is playing and as I relax I will meditate on how deserving I am of loving and positive thoughts.

While drying myself with a clean and soft towel I imagine my inner mother lavishing my inner child with love and kindness.

Renate Dundys Marrello

2015 – 02 – 01 
My reflections page on Facebook

photo credits:  Hosting pics.net, candleslovetoknow.com, photl.com 

Reflections on Healing: year of the mountain

I have been thinking lately that the challenge for me this year is to fundamentally change everything about how I celebrate each day of the year.  In the past (B.E. - before estrangement) my day, my life revolved around my family and my work.

Nevada - Red Rock Canyon
Photographer - Renate Dundys Marrello 

Those two essential to my life elements no longer really exist.  I was forced into early retirement (a whole other story) and even the relationships that I still do have, well, they are not the “centre” of my life (like when I was a mother of young children) rather they are a much smaller part of my life, as everyone is busy doing their “own thing”.  As such some of these relationships are on the very periphery of my life. 

So this year my theme is “climbing the mountain”, finding not only healing but also the meaning.  In the past year, I wandered lost, searching for the path.  I feel that I now have found the path, through my reading and research.  I worked very hard at learning what it looks like to be on a healing path.  And I did learn so much! 

One of the things I learnt was that without meaning we just survive another day.  So the goal of healing is to get from survival mode to living mode.  And living requires meaning.

Our ancestors I believe had knowledge that we have forgotten.  They had the right idea!  They surrounded their lives with rituals that connected them with the earth and the universe.  They celebrated the seasons, the planting and the harvest.  Their celebrations revolved around the need to survive the hardships of rural / agricultural life.   Their rituals connected them with meaning outside the events of their individual lives.

I feel that it is by getting back to that cycle of traditions that I can find a way to become reconnected with the meaning of life.  We are born, we have our own living cycle, and then when life’s journey is done we pass into the next stage, the unknowns of death and the “afterlife”.   In the process we have jobs and families, but they are not really the meaning of life, they are ultimately only a part of the life we lead.  They are what we do with the life we have been given.   The meaning of life comes back directly to the process of being connected to the universe and playing our role in that greater sphere.

My “year of the mountain” is the search for those elements that bring meaning into my life. I hope to discover in this uphill struggle, a way to reconnect with an essential something within me.  This year is my pilgrimage up that mountain, to my own personal “medicine wheel”.  This year is one of focusing on learning and growing, of examining and questioning.  It is a year of challenging my beliefs and changing my goals or directions as required, not because it is what I want to do, but because it is what I need to do to move forward.  It is a year of creating connections, defining values and establishing rituals that enrich each day with meaning.

What I find interesting heading up the mountain is that I feel more focused.  I know where I am headed.  Not that the path is always clear before my feet, for I still suffer from doubts and confusion.  But there is this comfort of knowing the direction that I am headed, “UP”.

Renate Dundys Marrello

2015 – 01 – 30 

Link to my Facebook Reflections page

Reflections on Healing: Empowerment Through Self-Appreciation.

picture credit - hosting pics.net

Now that it is getting close to the beginning of February I am gearing up to do a "14 day Challenge of Self Appreciation" in the days leading up to Valentines Day.  

Last year I took the first step towards this by writing myself a love letter.  Today I re-read this letter, and it is amazing how that made me feel!  

As I read it, I also realized that so many of the healing moments that I have experienced in the past year are a direct reflection of the thoughts and ideas I had written to myself last year at this time!  I was amazed once again about the power of the unconscious mind and how it has directed me based on the thoughts I gave it to work with.

I have always been successful at giving my love to others.  But I have been very poor at giving myself love, validation and appreciation for everything that I do and everything that I am.  I have always been the first person to beat on myself for not being good enough.  And in the process I gave others the impression that they too could beat on me.  My resolution in my healing journey has been to change this. 

Slowly I have been changing this pattern in myself and I hope that in sharing my journey with you, you too can start to create a transformation in your life.

Being estranged robbed me of so much.  I have stated before, that I felt I had no value, that I was worthless.  At my lowest point in the aftermath of estrangement, I had no self-esteem left.  Zero! I caught myself walking hunched over, like I was trying to shrink from view.  I never smiled, and if my lips formed a smile because it was required of me in a social context I felt tears in my eyes because I felt “fake”.  All hope and all joy, all exuberance were gone from my heart and I felt defeated. I have talked elsewhere about the decision I arrived at to “choose a new path”.

February 2014, I came across this article about writing a love letter to myself.  The writing of this letter was an empowering moment.  I then followed up by creating a list of 14 days of Valentines to myself.   And I have to admit that I failed in that exercise.  I had the list but every day I found an excuse why I did not deserve to do this nice thing for myself.

So this year I am going to repeat the exercise.  This year I know I am in a much better place.  I care more about me and therefore I nurture myself more.  I show myself more compassion. So I have every hope and intension to make this a successful exercise to show myself appreciation and to reward myself for how far I have come on my healing journey since last February.

I invite you to join me in the 14 Days of Love Challenge

photo credit - httpwww.megankoufos.com 

1.  Write yourself a love letter:  how to instructions can be found here .  

Place it somewhere safe and reread it next year and be prepared to be amazed. 

2.  Create a list of “14 days of kindness for me”! These are simple actions that I can take that express value and appreciation of who I am and what I have accomplished.  From having a coffee outing with a friend, to visiting a museum or enjoying a favorite piece of music.  The idea is to do an activity I enjoy with the intention of seeing it as validating that I deserve good things.  Fill in a 14 day calendar with intentions. 

Sunday Feb 1st	Monday Feb 2nd	Tuesday Feb 3rd	Wednesday Feb 4th	Thursday Feb 5th	Friday Feb 6th	Saturday Feb 7th
Day 1 of Kindness to me	Day 2 of Kindness to me	Day 3 of Kindness to me	Day 4 of Kindness to me	Day 5 of Kindness to me	Day 6 of Kindness to me	Day 7 of Kindness to me
Sunday Feb 8th	Monday Feb 9th	Tuesday Feb 10th	Wednesday Feb 11th	Thursday Feb 12th	Friday Feb 13th	Saturday Feb 14th
Day 8 of Kindness to me	Day 9 of Kindness to me	Day 10 of Kindness to me	Day 11 of Kindness to me	Day 12 of Kindness to me	Day 13 of Kindness to me	Day 14 of Kindness to me

If you are like me, and you are used to your life revolving around what you do for others you may find this challenge to be very challenging!  

I struggled to create that list last year and I struggled even more to do the things on the list.  I look forward to having greater success this year!

photo credit - http://www.care2.com/

 3. Create a self-appreciation or self-validating ritual that I can turn always to, to reaffirm my healing journey.  This is a collection of thoughts / meditations, reading materials, music, home spa ideas, prayers or intentions, aroma therapy, peaceful corner that I have always close at hand.   The idea is to create an oasis ritual that I have access to whenever I need to nurture myself.  An example for a place to start. 

Let us celebrate Valentine’s Day this year with not only sharing love with others but also by remembering to love and validate ourselves!

Please feel free to share your successes with me!

Renate Dundys Marrello

2014 – 01 – 27 

link to my reflections page on Facebook