Friday, May 27, 2016

Post Estrangement: Learning to Expect Love, Honesty, Truth and Respect in Return

I saw this meme that said "There are four very important words in life: Love, honesty, truth and respect. Without these in your life you have nothing."

The above is wonderful inspiration, but it is important to look for those qualities in others as well as in yourself. Be aware that all too often others have expectations of love, honesty, truth and respect, but offer you something quite different in return.

Sadly, this has been my experience in life.

Many people want to be loved and expect to be loved unconditionally but do not love others in return. They use love as a kind of currency to get what they want from you. 

Beware those people that demand you behave in a certain manner before they will find you acceptable enough to love.

Then there are the people that want honesty and truth but only as long as it is their truth that you validate. If you speak your own truth and it contradicts what they want to hear they can and do call you all kinds of names. This is a sign of disrespect, that they do not honour you as an individual with a right to your own point of view. They see you only as someone to validate their thoughts and opinions. 

Beware of these people, for when around such self centred people you start to feel less worthy and somehow imperfect for disagreeing with them.

Finally there are those people who demand to be respected while disrespecting you. These are the people that never accept you for who you are but rather use you for what you can give them. If you show them kindness they accept it as their due. I you show them insufficient adulation; they tell you what is wrong with you for not seeing their unique specialness. At no time do they honour or celebrate your uniqueness or your specialness. 

Beware such people for they use you to aggrandize themselves while at the same time demeaning you and making you feel second rate.

Yes love and honesty, truth and respect are important concepts, but expect them to be shown towards you as much as you show them toward others.

Renate Dundys Marrello
2016 - 05 - 25

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