A quote I read today:
“treat people the way you want to be treated,
talk to people the way you
want to be talked to.
Respect is earned not given”
I can see the wonderful optimism of this quote however I can also see that it is not reality. We can only choose
to give respect, to live our own actions of respect. We cannot control whether others will reciprocate.
Even if we do
everything right we cannot always earn respect. Yes we may deserve respect but
not everyone is willing to give respect even to those who have earned or
deserve it.
We can only control our
own behaviour but we cannot control whether or not others will give respect to
us.
Respect is a gift
that some give but it is always their choice!
There are others who
withhold respect in an effort to control us or manipulate us into giving them
something they feel they are entitled to.
They withhold respect because they use respect as a currency to gain
them something they feel they deserve or some expectation they have.
Some of the most
painful moments in my life came from expecting to be treated with respect
simply because I did the right thing or the good thing. Only to discover that others did not feel the
need to treat me with respect even though I acted with good intentions and with
integrity.
Those are the people
who use withholding of respect as a weapon to gain something for themselves.
It would be nice if
respect were something everyone felt was a universal gift. But sadly, there are those who do not live
the golden rule. They expect respect to be given to them but treat others with
disrespect.
Human nature and
human behaviour remains very challenging for me to understand.
Renate Dundys
Marrello
2018 – 10 – 03
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