Wednesday, June 7, 2017

Post Estrangement: the Dilemma of Forgiveness

Quote:  "Weigh the true advantages of forgiveness and resentment to the heart. Then choose."
~ Jack Kornfield

On my healing journey what has kept me focused on finding a way toward forgiveness is the weight of resentment, bitterness, grudge bearing and unforgiveness have upon my soul. 

Always when I felt those negative emotions growing in my heart I found myself feeling betrayed by my own thoughts and a heaviness would weigh me down in a dark place.  When I weighed the true cost of remaining in that place I recognized that the price was too high, for it means sacrificing the values that I aspire to as a human being.  I don’t want to live down to other people’s standards; I want to live up to my own perceptions of what a good person ought to do.

The only way forward for me was to work on those aspects of my response to sorrow diligently. No wonder healing is such a hard journey, when most of the time I have to fight against my own dark side, my need for vengeance, justice, payback.

To let go of the resentment and bitterness, to not be burdened by a grudge and to find a way to forgive is to fight that inner darkness that says, “they don’t deserve to be forgiven”.

In order for me to like who I become in the process of healing I have had to learn how to separate the person from the deed.  The next step was seeing the person as a hurting, lost child of the Divine, and to then forgive that lost soul and pray for their healing as well as my own.  

It is when I pray for their healing, that I am most closely in tune with the kind of loving person I want to be.  For my own healing I pray that I can feel that way more often.

Renate Dundys Marrello
2017 – 06 – 06 

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