Today I am pondering kindness.

Today I am pondering kindness.  

And I am not the only one.  I listened to a person on youtube talking about the “nastiness” of some people.  This struck a chord in me!  Because I am kind, I tend to not call people out on their nastiness!  

More and more I am working on overcoming this shortcoming of mine.  I want to be seen as a nice and kind person and therefore I don’t speak up when someone is nasty.  I let them get away with their nastiness!  I am coming to realize that what I am in actual fact doing is condoning their nastiness. 

As long as they think they can get away with being nasty and unkind they will continue to do so.  As long as I allow myself to be walked all over, people will continue to walk all over me.

I have been working on my concept of what it means to be a kind person for some time now.  Being kind is only one part of the equation.  The other part of the equation is holding people accountable for their unkindness even when it means they will no longer “like” me.

When I operate from a place of “fear” of being abandoned I keep silent in the face of nastiness.  When I want to be liked and seen as kind at all costs….I do pay the price of suffering in silence, their unkindness! 

Kindness is a balancing act of giving kindness but also setting a boundary that I will not tolerate being treated nastily. 

I can be a kind person and still hold a boundary against those who would harm me with their nasty words or actions.  I don’t have to allow them to “get away” with treating me badly in order to see myself as a good person!  Not everyone deserves to be in my life and keeping people in my life at all costs has kept some very hurtful / harming people in my life far longer than they deserved.

The more I learn that I deserve to treat myself with kindness, the more I learn that I do not have to tolerate other people’s nastiness.  I have a right to have boundaries!  That is what it means to have kindness in balance.  Not only do I get to treat others with kindness, I get to respect my boundaries and only allow people into my life, who also treat me with kindness in return.  I don’t have to give space to the people who believe they have the right to be nasty and treat me badly.

Happiness is…. Kindness in balance

 

Renate Dundys Marrello

2022 – 04 – 24

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