Reflections on Healing - 14 Days of Self Appreciation Challenge: Day 7

February 7^th

One of the things that I have missed in my life AE (after estrangement ) is a sense of comfort and contentment.   

When I was a parent giving comfort was as natural as breathing!  But giving comfort and the hugs and the cuddles that went with it also gave me comfort.  That is now missing from my life.  I have not yet learned how to find that same sense of comfort in caring for myself. 

And contentment, that too is gone.  I used to be content to be a mom and doing mom things.  It was never too much to do anything that made my children happy.   

Even through the difficult times I was content.   Even when stressed, I was content.   Now contentment is something that eludes me.  The big emptiness in my life is like a gaping wound that is keeping contentment at bay.  I want to find my way back to contentment, to accepting things just as they are not as I would wish them to be.

Today as my 14 days of self-affirmation I would like to invite the possibility of comfort and contentment back into my life.  

And as I write these words I realize that this is the most difficult task I have set myself so far on this self-love journey. 

I think I finally believe that I deserve comfort and contentment.  But I do not yet believe that I will be able to achieve them.   However, I will give it a try, for the simple reason that I deserve this. 

To accept comfort into my life I need to address the fact that I am deserving of self care.  That time spent doing what I love and what I need with awareness as to how they bring me comfort is a choice I can consciously make.  

I understand that there’s also a cognitive component to contentment.  This involves taking stock of where I am and deciding what I love, what I can change, and what I need to accept.   If I can focus on this process I feel that I will be on the right path. 

My Comfort and Contentment Ritual

Supplies:  Jasmine oil, essential oil diffuser, Paper and pen, Candle, Container for safe burning, Receptacle for ashes

Step 1 -  create a quiet atmosphere free from distractions so that I can focus on this exercise.

• Light the candle and prepare to meditate on the changes I am about to invite into my life.
• Reflect on the things that are present in my life that prevent me from being content.
• Reflect on the things and the thoughts that are within my control to change.  Example I can’t change a person who makes me angry, but I can change the way I respond to the person that makes me angry) 
• Write down those thoughts that I wish to banish.
• Reflect on what I need in my life to feel more comfort.
• What is within my control to bring those comforts into my life? 
• Write a list of the changes I wish to make.

Light the paper with the thoughts I wish to banish and say:

“I burn this paper and banish those negative thoughts and emotions from my life to make room for comfort and contentment.”

Visualize all the negativity burning away and leaving me free to create the new and positive energies.

Place the burning paper into the receptacle and say: 

“I release the negative emotions that hinder my openness to comfort and contentment”. 

Visualize all of the obstacle evaporating from my thoughts and from my life leaving space for new and positive energies.

Drip some Jasmine oil into the diffuser and inhale the fragrance and savour it.  Say:

“I welcome contentment and comfort into my life and into my being” 

Place the receptacle and the diffuser somewhere in a visible place. 

• They serve as reminders for my intentions.
• The receptacle of ashes is to serve as a visual reminder of what I want to let go off
• The fragrance is an olfactory reminder of what I wish to welcome in.  

Actions steps for comfort and contentment:
I will take steps over the next several days to put into action those things on my list that are outward signs that I bring comfort and contentment into my life. 

I will create a comfort zone where I will collect objects that either bring me comfort or remind me of actions that I can take to bring comfort into my life. 

I will create reminders to myself to contemplate my affirmations on contentment so that whenever I see those reminders I will pause and take a moment and embrace these new messages to myself. 

Renate Dundys Marrello 
2015 - 02  - 07

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