Saturday, July 18, 2015

Post Estrangement - How Can One Learn to Laugh Again?

Today there was a question in my inbox from a reader.  She asks, “I want to know how one can learn to laugh again?”


I sat with the question for a while, because I have walked that path and had to learn to find joy again.  But because the journey is such a personal one and such a difficult one I also did not want to create a false illusion about the nature of that journey.  Here is the answer I finally sent.


There is no short cut is the best advice I can give you.  It is a deliberate step by step choice you make each and every day to heal.

You have to work through each emotion, each feeling and resolve each one for yourself.

I found joining a PTSD support web page very beneficial for me.  There were always tips and advice about how to take a trauma and change and heal after trauma.  Actions to take now, to not let the trauma define the rest of my life.

I found meditation and gratitude to be helpful

I found resources that helped me to work on my self-confidence and self-esteem helpful.

I found dealing with co-dependent issues helpful

I found dealing with past issues in my life that I just sort of swept under the carpet because "things were okay" to be helpful.

Basically you make your own future by the choices you make each and every day.

I have been on a "healing rampage" for almost 2 years now.
Am I there yet?  NO.
Am I closer than I was 2 years ago?  FOR SURE!

Do I laugh now!   Yes I do have joy in my life.
Am I finished with the sorrow!  No there are still days when I feel the need to rant and cry and scream, "why is this happening to me?"

Is there hope that my new purpose in life will sustain me?
Definitely.
Will I ever be completely free of the effects of the trauma?
Unlikely, it is a part of who I am now.

I hope this helps you on your own healing journey quest.

Renate Dundys Marrello


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