As I continue my 40 day journey of letting go I realize
that there are so many steps to letting go.
The past few days I have been looking at the need to let go of the
grudge that I have building and growing in my heart. This is what keeps my pain
and my anger fresh. This is the
"HOOK" that connects me to the past.
40 Days of Letting go -
Day 23
It is easy to find a reason to hang on. When I reflect on the pain and the hurting I
experience; I automatically say “you deserve my hatred and my disrespect”.
A grudge is born out of the need to retaliate for the
wounds inflicted upon me. The wound is kept alive when I repeat my mantra “You
had no right to treat me this way. I
have issues with your actions.
The resentment grows and festers in my brain and I carry
the burden. Just as you carry your own
burden with your resentments against me.
The resentment and bitterness have taken root in your
soul. That resentment builds your wall
of silence blocking me out.
I don’t want to live the way you live, forever carrying
that heavy weight. So I will let my
grudge go. I will unhook myself from
that path.
I will release the hold my anger and pain has over my
soul. As I accept that what you did was not right, I also accept that I do not
have to hold on to the anger and hurt indefinitely. I can choose to let it go. I can choose to
lay down my burden.
Instead of hanging on to the bitterness I will taste the
freedom of acceptance that what is past is past. With that acceptance I give myself the
ability to move on unfettered by the negative ruminations that are so hurtful
to my soul.
Renate Dundys Marrello
Photo credits - as marked or unknown
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