My Daily Reflections: Moving from Break Down to Break Through

 “People cry, not because they are weak, but because they have been strong for too long.”  ~ Johnny Depp   

by Tsukikio Kiyomidzu

It has been my experience, that a ‘break down’ is simply the final sign of having been strong for too long. 

The very same person who takes on other people’s negativity, abuse, verbal put-downs, judgements and criticisms in silence, while attempting to keep the peace in relationships that shouldn’t be, but are abusive, is that one who finally can’t carry the load of self deprecation anymore. 

You fall into the abyss of weeping for all that you can no longer carry and think yourself weak.  You weep for all you have lost as you ponder why others felt they had a right to treat you so hurtfully. 

The first step to healing is break down. To be destroyed, to fall into a valley of sadness, despair and depression. 

Slowly, if you are fortunate and have the right support and resources; the light comes on and you realize; “I am not bad or weak, I have simply been the recipient of too much degradation.”

This is when you realize that the strong self, that part of you which fights back, which rebounds with optimism and self-worth has simply become too overpowered and overwhelmed to continue the battle.

That is when the journey changes from ‘break down’ to ‘break through.’ The blindness of accepting other people’s negative words and behaviours falls away and self-worth rebounds stronger than ever.

The moment you speak the words “I do not and never did, deserve to be treated this way”; is like a giant weight off of your spiritual shoulders. 

It is when you begin to respond to slights, and disrespect differently.  You no longer buy into the gaslighting that it is somehow your fault when others speak unkindly or even abusively, when they treat you badly or disrespectfully, or even that you are supposed to just back down and  “take it”. 

This is when you begin to speak up in self-defense against cruelty disguised as "helpful advice" or even worse "concern about your well-being."  

This is when your new awareness of your own worth begins to speak up and expose or reveals to you those who enjoyed "putting you in your place". 

You recognize these people because when you stand up for yourself they call you names, like selfish, full of yourself, ungrateful, overly sensitive etc. They even try to tell you that you deserved to be treated badly, that it was your fault. Some even stop talking to you, and remove themselves from your life simply because you stop being the quiet recipient of their abusive language and behaviour.

Weeping can be the floodgate releasing the flow of all that you can be, all that you can become. 

RDM

2023 – 02 – 04 

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