My Daily
Reflections:
I have to keep
reminding myself the forgiveness is about letting go of the need to retaliate.
I think I am getting pretty good at that.
Forgiveness doesn't mean accepting, or
allowing them back to do it again. And I think in the process of learning to
forgive (i.e. let go of the need to retaliate) we become better equipped to
recognize a real "atonement" rather than a fake apology.
This serves
us well in those instances when a reconciliation is on the table, for in being
equipped we can defend and protect ourselves because we are on the lookout for
the fake contrition that is often used to try to lure us in.
In studying
forgiveness I have also studied what real atonement looks like. Really making
"amends" is not just about saying "sorry" (words often
spoken without intention or meaning). Really making amends is doing those
things that are required to fix things...like telling the truth to those they spread
gossip to etc.
I think this is why
there are so few real reconciliations. For the lies and the gossip and the
slander are easy to dish out....but it takes real strength of character to A/ own
up to doing those things yes....but even more difficult is B/ to then go around
to everyone the lie was told to and retracting with truth. This is a hard pill
to swallow. It has become my opinion
that the real reason wrong doers don’t come forward and atone is not because
they are not sorry that they have caused harm but they are afraid that they
might be asked to “prove” their sorrow with the actions of contrition.
It is for this
reason alone, that I have come to believe that those who have betrayed me and
slandered me in the past will never come to me with an apology or to seek
forgiveness....for they realize that I would also expect them to atone by
setting the record straight or it is no deal on the reconciliation.
I have in my heart forgiven (I do not wish to retaliate) but I also have learned that I deserve better than an "I'm sorry", a diluted apology at best.
I have in my heart forgiven (I do not wish to retaliate) but I also have learned that I deserve better than an "I'm sorry", a diluted apology at best.
Renate Dundys
Marrello
2017 – 02 – 24
Link to my Facebook Reflections Page
My journal blog entries are copyright.
I love when you share my page to spread the word.
Link to my Facebook Reflections Page
I love when you share my page to spread the word.
If you want to quote me I kindly ask that you please provide a link back to my page.
photo credit - as marked or unknown