tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5794003589871580138.post7549252686384375404..comments2024-01-20T02:59:47.120-08:00Comments on Reflections on Life : Thought to Ponder: to walk away and / or be open to transformationsRenate Dundys Marrellohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10554730481349533628noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5794003589871580138.post-16407141828309383902018-05-30T11:21:45.398-07:002018-05-30T11:21:45.398-07:00Very true! We must take a stand for 'ourselves...Very true! We must take a stand for 'ourselves' now. I join you in that last line of yours :)Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01725898381227385388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5794003589871580138.post-27322969029799705562017-02-10T15:50:01.612-08:002017-02-10T15:50:01.612-08:00PS: for my toxic family relationships, with other ...PS: for my toxic family relationships, with other disordered family members who are adults and not my only child, I relish the peace and distance I have found. That's a whole different story. I am happy to "love them from a distance" and let bygones stay bygones.Catherine Toddhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16106773955427187343noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5794003589871580138.post-26594279087347776762017-02-10T15:48:44.521-08:002017-02-10T15:48:44.521-08:00BJ, to whom are you asking this question? I know t...BJ, to whom are you asking this question? I know that for me, I'm still always trying to find a "magic key" to solve the estrangement I find myself in, through no desire of my own, even though I know that the only real solution has to come from both parties. One can't resolve a relationship with another by themselves. <br /><br />But I love and miss my son and think about him every day. And I won't quit praying, wishing and hoping that one day the love and peace I feel for my estranged son will spread like wildfire and bloom like a desert on fire ~ when finally the rains come and long-dormant seeds spring into life and the world is green and glorious once again. I hope this answers your question. If not, perhaps someone else will.<br /><br />It's like a divorce that you never wanted, even if there were problems. Sometimes, love never dies.Catherine Toddhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16106773955427187343noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5794003589871580138.post-20326993515671768002017-02-10T14:09:54.040-08:002017-02-10T14:09:54.040-08:00If your loving a peaceful life in estrangement, wh...If your loving a peaceful life in estrangement, why are you reading and participating here? Bjhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16016607177008693886noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5794003589871580138.post-9942444787868893442017-02-01T07:47:44.618-08:002017-02-01T07:47:44.618-08:00You are welcome.
I agree, there is much to learn f...You are welcome.<br />I agree, there is much to learn from the 12-step programs.Renate Dundys Marrellohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10554730481349533628noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5794003589871580138.post-13917035529705878602017-01-29T07:50:14.598-08:002017-01-29T07:50:14.598-08:00Thank you for sharing your reflections. I think s...Thank you for sharing your reflections. I think some of the communication skills needed, and the opportunities to build awareness in one's self of the toxic patterns in one's relationships can come from Twelve-step programs such as Al Anon.Jonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09496630268294007417noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5794003589871580138.post-45548994579722806652017-01-14T08:51:13.094-08:002017-01-14T08:51:13.094-08:00"we have seen the rise of a certain class of ..."we have seen the rise of a certain class of so called "advice" givers that advocate for walking away from toxic relationships rather than working through toward a healing of the relationship."<br /><br />I have tried for over 60 years to "heal" toxic relationships, with not one bit of success. Now that I have finally cut the cords, I AM HEALED. And that is what counts.<br /><br />If the toxic people want to make those changes, fine. But it's not my responsibility nor within my control. Let them live however they want. And I will continue to keep my balance and peace. These disordered individuals may reach out with an olive branch temporarily, but it won't last long. Under the least bit of stress they WILL revert. That is their nature and that is guaranteed.<br /><br />Will keep hoping for them to change and the relationship to change? It's not all "learned behavior." Look at small children and you can see their personality before they are one year old. Don't deny it; accept it, and do whatever you have to do to "keep the peace" which means the peace in your own home and your own heart.<br /><br />They can live any way they want, and so can I. I will not open my door to allow them to destroy my happy home regardless of how they try to manipulate me into believe they have "changed."<br /><br />When someone shows you who they are, believe them.Catherine Toddhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16106773955427187343noreply@blogger.com