tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5794003589871580138.post2064021166670454928..comments2024-01-20T02:59:47.120-08:00Comments on Reflections on Life : Post Estrangement: Does rumination help me or hinder me?Renate Dundys Marrellohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10554730481349533628noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5794003589871580138.post-6645770628482850582017-04-07T01:13:00.600-07:002017-04-07T01:13:00.600-07:00There are days that I think of all the positive th...There are days that I think of all the positive things in my life and appreciate the loved ones I do have in my life. I also, think it is not fair to the others that do show me they love me by only think of how things could have been. Because I am not in the present. I can only control myself and how I react to situations. But, I have days that I do miss my grandkids and think how they all are doing and such questions that I do not the have answers to. So, I think that there is a degree of not having closure. I don't think you can get closure when a person just gets up and leaves. Especially, when there were no fights or arguments. When they leave it's on their terms. They don't even take the time to try and work things out. So, I think that is why, at times I have days when I think about all the emotions that I feel. And they did not even stop to listen to your needs or feelings. That will never go away. I give myself a certain amount of time and then just go on with what does make me happy. I think I need time here and there to think about these things and maybe even mourn somewhat. <br /> I can never forget that I have a grown child out there somewhere that is going to have to live with this decision the rest of her life. I think it is only human to have those feelings . Does not mean that I am not making the best of my life. Anyway, that is how I look at it for myself. But, there are a lot of different situations and people have to manage things in a way that is best for them.sara suehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05949280037256538600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5794003589871580138.post-41555063847626219752017-04-04T14:15:34.308-07:002017-04-04T14:15:34.308-07:00Absolutely right on. The secret to happiness is to...Absolutely right on. The secret to happiness is to be grateful and enjoy what we have rather than be constantly mourning what we don't have. Unhappiness is suffering caused by events to which we attach emotion. Think differently and remove the emotional attachment and the suffering goes away though the pain still remains. Pain does not have to equal suffering. Acknowledge it, learn to live with it and move on xxrobydani@googlemail.comhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01660619280703154844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5794003589871580138.post-34962437341870447202015-04-04T07:42:23.524-07:002015-04-04T07:42:23.524-07:00You are right sue, It us not fair nor is it right....You are right sue, It us not fair nor is it right. Am estranged from 2 adult children and having to accept that they do not love me has been hard - I too live one day at a time. Love Renate' s words. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00951104632686404290noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5794003589871580138.post-14481179075742016212015-04-04T07:15:38.185-07:002015-04-04T07:15:38.185-07:00Yah, it is so very hard and it is not fair. Not t...Yah, it is so very hard and it is not fair. Not to yourself or to the others in your life that love, appreciate, and need you. It occurred to me that I have not been really present to anyone since I discovered that my Son doesn't love me. It seems as though my joy has dwindled with his rejection. I miss that joy. The mindset thing is REAL. I'm thinking of posting "inspiration notes" in key places to help retrain my thinking. Holiday is over tomorrow -- it will be easier then until May. One day at a time.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01646274807342636682noreply@blogger.com